There is nothing more difficult than reluctantly finding yourself back in the dating scene when you are middle aged. Typically, the circumstances that bring you back into the singles hunt are not always pleasant. You may be a widower mourning the loss of your spouse or a scorned divorcee that is hurt. Just reassure yourself that you are not alone, although you may feel this way and tell yourself that constantly. It may have been decades since you last dated and so much has changed, but do not let this deter you from living your life!
Your heart is still beating and there is a lot of life to live. This is something that you need to realize. Many people that are middle aged and dating again sometimes lack confidence in their appearance. Nobody is expecting you to look like you did when you were 22 and dancing to the Gap Band’s “You Dropped A Bomb On Me”. It’s not 1982 anymore and you don’t have to play the part that you did when you were single then. Before you re-enter the singles scene, you must accept yourself for who you are currently. Now this does not mean that you cannot reinvent your appearance if thats what you desire. By all means, change your hairstyle, work on your body at the gym, and buy a new wardrobe if that is truly something that you want to do for yourself.
This should be looked at as a new beginning and maybe you’ll feel different if you look different. That is completely understandable to an extent, but do not feel like who you are right now is not good enough. Sure, you may go to some bars in town and see gorgeous and fit twenty-somethings out and about, but these are not the people you are competing against, unless you are looking to rob the cradle, which some may be and that is your prerogative. Everyone your age, out and about is looking for love and are faced with the same hang-ups and insecurities as you. If anything, be comfortable in the fact that outside of a love interest, you are probably fairly established and stable in your life. Your kids are most likely grown and out or nearly out of the house and you know way more now than you did twenty or thirty years ago. Try to focus on that energy rather than the negative as you prepare to throw yourself back into the dating scene. You will likely find yourself much more comfortable and ready to go back to dating.
Many middle-aged people have the feeling that nobody will want them because of the “baggage” associated with being widowed from someone you deeply loved or the hurt and trauma involved with a failed marriage. First, remind yourself that most people near your age, if they are single and on the prowl, have gone through the same thing you’re experiencing. You may very well run into someone that is widowed or bitter from a divorce. It may actually be beneficial for you to date just to find some nice people, in the same position in life as you, to talk to and confide in.
It is also particularly important to analyze your emotions before dating again. You may never truly be over the death of a spouse or the complications of a painful divorce, but you should be at a point where you’ve grieved enough and you’re ready to take life by the horns! Also, make sure you know exactly what you want. If you’re not looking for something particularly serious, make sure whoever you are dating knows this. It is okay if you feel the need to take things slow and it’s even alright if you’re primarily looking for a fling as long as you communicate it and are responsible with everything.
One of the biggest
when middle aged (as with all other types of dating) is to just be yourself and be honest with those that are interested.