So you’ve found the right type of online dating site for what you’re looking for, you’ve spent time on your profile, maybe even shown it to a few friends or consulted an expert. You’ve since browsed pages of members’ profiles and picked out a few people you’re interested in, but now you’re staring at an email completely stuck as to what to write.
Striking the right tone in an introductory online dating email is one of the trickier parts of online dating, as unlike face to face or the phone, email doesn’t allow for nuance. To that end here are some tips to help you construct a good introductory email
Writing ‘hey, you seem nice and I like your profile” may seem inoffensive and neutral but that’s exactly the problem. Some women on online dating sites receive 30+ emails every day, unless you look like Brad Pitt why should they respond to someone who’s sent out a boilerplate email and made such little effort. People want to know that you’ve spent at least 2 minutes reading their profile and you’re not just using an automated robot to send out 50+ emails an evening.
Pick something out from the person’s profile, and reflect it back. This shows that you’ve read his/her profile as well as creating a commonality between the two of you. If he/she travelled to India you could say jokingly how jealous you are, and how this is on your next trip list. At the same time though don’t make it sound like you’re trying too hard; if he/she likes ”Sunday evenings with a Chinese takeaway and a Woody Allen movie”, saying that Chinese is also your favorite food, and Wood Allen your favorite director sounds like you are brown nosing and trying way too hard.
Like writing a generic email, just saying ‘hi’ or the variant ‘hey’ is a wasted opportunity to get your emails opened. You can create interest by using the subject line to reference something you’re going to mention in the email, or you can try and be clever or make a tease. If none of this is you though, you can personalize the email by using the person’s dating handle in the subject line. What do you think will get the better response, ”hey Julie100” or ”hi”?!
You want to create interest and leave things for future communication so don’t write a 500 word declaration of compatibility; the email should be brief and informal, somewhere between 3-5 sentences and not overly wordy. At the same time though avoid internet slang – ”lol”, ”tomoz” etc which veer too far to the other side of informality.
Nothing is worse than writing a sharp, witty email and sending it off only to re-read it and find you made a basic typo. Typos show sloppiness and a lack of care, double check before you hit send!
If you don’t give the person you write to a reason to write back, or at least present a call to action, your chances of getting a reply will massively decrease. You can pick something up from their profile or their photo to create a question, whilst to sign off your email you can say that you hope to hear from them soon or that it’d be great to speak.
Writing good online dating emails does take a bit of practice, but using the above tips as a foundation you will soon find your own style, writing sharp, breezy, informal emails which generate great response.